On Monday night, curled up in my big cozy chair trying to make sense of the past 40 days, I plainly heard the Holy Spirit say:

“Let go! You have done all you can. Let go completely. Let go in your mind. You are deeply rooted in Me. Let the wind blow where it will. Your only job is to deepen your roots in Me. I will take care of the branches. Open yourself up to Me. Let My Love heal your wounds and open your heart. Life is full of wonder. Open childlike trusting eyes to all I AM doing for you. Fear Not.

When I opened the Word to validate my understanding of what was running through my soul, I found two passages:

That was the last thing the young man expected to hear. And so, crest-fallen, he walked away. He was holding on tight to a lot of things, and he couldn’t bear to let goMatthew 19:22 MSG

“But my people didn’t listen, they paid no attention; So I let go of the reins and told them, ‘Run! Do it your own way!’ Psalm 81:10-11 MSG

Well… I’d say that pretty much covers it!

It clearly goes against everything I believe in and hold dear to be found clinging so tightly to anything that I can’t bear to let go.  I know maintaining control has always been somewhat of a struggle for me…it comes from  my old life where holding on to even a tiny bit of control I might manage to gain was critical to my survival. But I am not living the old life. I am a new creation, in Christ Jesus. So…”of course, Lord – I’ll gladly let go of anything you ask me to. The last thing I want is for you to let go of the reins and leave me alone to do anything my own way. I’ve tried that before – it never works out.  It is always a recipe for disaster!”

The question I’ve wrestled with for the past several days has been,

“Just exactly what do you want me to let go of?”

“Let go of trying to do the thing yourself. Step up to a higher, more purposeful way – In Me. Would I ask you to step up on an unsecured ladder? The supports may be hidden – but if I have asked you to ‘Step up’ then surely the steps are secured.”

Once I figured out precisely what ‘the thing’ I’ve been trying to do myself meant it was easy to ‘let go’ and turn it over to the Lord. Having done that, we went out for a really nice dinner last night, enjoyed each other’s company and talked about lots of other things.

Today I think I’m HOME!