choose no regrets

The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. – Philippians 4:5-7

When we reach the end of our earthly life, do we have any regrets? What stopped us from doing what we should, or what we were called to do? *One palliative care nurse, working for years with the dying, shared the top five things she hears from patients as they pass on.

The first step
The first step

1. I regret adopting others expectations instead of following my dreams.
This was the most common regret of all. When people realize that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honored even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they made, or not made.

I call heaven and earth to witness this day against you that I have set before you life and death, the blessings and the curses; therefore choose life, that you and your descendants may live. And may love the Lord your God, obey His voice, and cling to Him. For He is your life and the length of your days, that you may dwell in the land which the Lord swore to give to your fathers, to Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. Deuteronomy 30:19-20

Do what's good for your soul
Do what’s good for your soul

2. I regret putting my career ahead of my loved ones.
This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been bread-winners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.

Let thy work be manifest to thy servants,
and thy glorious power to their children.
Let the favor of the Lord our God be upon us,
and establish thou the work of our hands upon us,
yea, the work of our hands establish thou it. Psalm 90:16-17 (RSV)

Be honest about what's in your heart
Be honest about what’s in your heart

3. I regret being less than honest about my needs and feelings.
Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result. We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level.

Keep back thy servant also from presumptuous sins; let them not have dominion over me! Then I shall be blameless, and innocent of great transgression. 
Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in thy sight,
O Lord, my rock and my redeemer. Psalm 19:13-14 (RSV)

The good-byes you never said
The good-byes you never said

4. I regret not staying in touch with my friends
Often the dying would not truly realize the full benefits of old friends until their last weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying. It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. It all comes down to love and relationships in the end.

When three of Job’s friends heard of all the tragedy that had befallen him, they got in touch with each other and traveled from their homes to comfort and console him. Their names were Eliphaz the Temanite, Bildad the Shuhite, and Zophar the Naamathite. Job 2:11

it's never too late to...
it’s never too late to…

5. I regret not allowing myself to be happier
This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realize until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called ‘comfort’ of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying.

 “I call heaven and earth to witness against you that today I have set before you life or death, blessing or curse. Oh, that you would choose life; that you and your children might live! Choose to love the Lord your God and to obey him and to cling to him, for he is your life and the length of your days. You will then be able to live safely in the land the Lord promised your ancestors, Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.” Deuteronomy 30:18-20 TLB

see ya soon

*inspired by "Hospice Nurse Reveals Patients
Greatest Regrets" found on faithHub.com
Photos in this post are shared from facebook friends

 

 

One comment

  1. Regrets rob you of the joy that is found in every moment. Instead, to be honest with ourselves on a moment by moment basis, frees us from regrets even flourishing. Great post! thank you for sharing. mari

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